Make Out

I am beckoning the lovely again on Zebra Sounds. We’re on #10 out of 12 on my list. (I know! Time flies!)

This week’s lovely thing was “Make out.” It was the hardest of all so far, and as of Sunday morning, I did not know what I was going to do. I was talking to a friend. He was trying to talk about important work-related things, but I stopped him. “Listen,” I said, “I’m panicking. I only want to talk to you if you’re going to talk to me about making out.”

So he talked to me about making out. I have great friends. We decided that there are a few key ingredients to making out successfully and that those key ingredients could probably be applied to life generally. Here’s what we came up with:

  1. Dare
  2. Pay attention to the details
  3. Don’t over-think – intuit
  4. Give yourself to the moment

Great list, right? So I mind mapped it. I sat down and started free associating the phrases, letting myself go, having fun – which felt amazingly good after a week of totally stressing out about this post. I thought about love and life and sex, and what makes it all work, and how it looks when it’s good…

When I was through, I drew my map on a 2 foot x 3 foot piece of cardboard. I got out my colored pens and about a 100 crayons and I listened to 70’s Motown music (which I still love), and I felt the shift that happens inside when you fall in love with what you’re doing  – not the end result, but the process, the act of bringing your imagination to life.

Truthfully, I’m happy with the end result too. It’s fun. It’s colorful. It’s me.


Feel free to add your thoughts.

Up next: Make a splash!


  1. Christina on October 5, 2009 at 3:22 am

    That’s great! Also, such a great point about loving the process as much as (or even more than) the end result. That’s something I wish I could do — but too often, I get stuck on thinking about the end result.

  2. Estrella Azul on October 5, 2009 at 5:41 am

    That’s great, I love it!
    I feel the same way about my homemade beauty products: I’m stressing out about not having ingredients because it’s a pretty big hassle to find different kinds of oils (like Sweet Almond or Avocado which I’d love to try out one time at least), make up a new recipe with the ingredients I do have, about how to write the post, how to explain the processes so everyone can see how easy it is to make, etc.
    And at the very last minute I end up amazing myself and having sooo much fun while experimenting.
    I totally agree, the process of the whole creation is also very important!

  3. karen from mentor on October 5, 2009 at 6:34 am

    Good morning Judy! Lovely art project.

    I especially loved the * make and out* in the yin/yang symbol….how perfect!

    My addition to your free association list is tongues tasting skin. Cause making out without tongues tasting skin is like a day without sunshine.

    But hey a non sunny rainy day is a great excuse to spend the day in bed making out.

    Happy Monday!

    Karen :0)

  4. Tall Pajama Man on October 5, 2009 at 7:34 am

    hmmm, making out…

    I must agree, the process – the journey is as much fun as the actual act… the anticipation, even if for a split second (when you get the sudden urge to just do it, regardless of where you are and who might be watching), the adrenaline pumping through your veins, the heightened intensity of sights and sounds and smells and touch… yes, touch, gently, subtly, all leading up to the connection that is much more than lips to lips.

    I love the eye lock beforehand – seeing into the heart and soul of your love. then, as you close your eyes, the thought, memory, dare I say, fantasy of your love filling your mental cavity, washing over your own soul, like a never ending ocean wave

    Even now just thinking about it, my mind drifts, my heart beats faster, my breathing shallows, and I anticipate the next time I will be able to partake in something so simple, yet so wonderful and all encompassing…

    Ok, I am so ruined for work now… thanks Red 🙂

  5. Linda on October 5, 2009 at 7:46 am

    I am sooooo glad you let us spend time in your mind this way. I’m thinking what a wonderful thing it would be to set you loose on the world with your markers and crayons.

    Seriously, you should fly around like a fairy leaving your lovely thoughts wherever you light. Who knows what a revolution you could start?

    And wow, Tall Pajama Man, what a poetic blog comment!

  6. judy on October 5, 2009 at 7:49 am

    Christina, I forget all the time when I’m writing. I think that might be why it’s good to do some completely different things sometimes. I’m no artist (as you can tell), so I don’t get hung up on the end result as much. I need to transfer that sense of freedom and flow to writing… (Feel a blog post in here somewhere.)

    Estrella, I love your homemade beauty products/posts. I’m so glad you’re doing that. And yeah, every time I’m trying to figure out how to handle the next lovely thing, I feel the same way. Curious – nervous – stressed – so happy I decided to do this.

    Karen, tongue tasting skin… definitely under “Pay attention to the details,” no matter which side of the tongue you’re on! =)

  7. judy on October 5, 2009 at 7:59 am

    TPM, Wow! Rarely does a blog comment leave me breathless. I’d tell you the parts I like best, but then I’d just be retyping everything you wrote. Ruined for work… definitely. (Though maybe the website I’m editing will have a whole different flavor to it on account of all this adrenaline I’ve got pumping through my veins!) 😉

    Linda, Big smile! That’s exactly the job I’m looking for. Haven’t found it yet, but I haven’t given up! In the meantime, it would be fun to see what a real artist (that would be you) does with a mind map. (Hint, hint.)

    TPM (again)… Sheesh! Maybe I need a cold shower!

  8. Christie on October 5, 2009 at 8:13 am

    I absolutely love it!!

    It feels more to me like “soul mapping” rather than mind mapping – you tapping into your soul and being able to transfer those visions onto paper is a lovely thing, you beckoned greatly this Monday :^)

    Thanks Judy for sharing this and for your inspiration! This is definitely you and what a lovely you it is!

  9. cmw on October 5, 2009 at 8:33 am

    Wow! and Wow!

  10. judy on October 5, 2009 at 9:00 am

    Christie, I wish I would have thought of what to do before the day I needed to do it. It was fun, the rush of needing to finish it, but if I’d known I was going to do a mind (soul) map, I’d have let my imagination wander more slowly, over maybe some more mysterious ground. There’d have been more color, I think, and more tiny precious things. 😉

    cmw, Big grin. Thanks.

  11. Christie on October 5, 2009 at 10:29 am


    I understand what you are saying about thinking (or the planning) of what you wanted to do before you did it, but that to me, would have been more the “mind map”. What you created, at least what I felt, was absolutely beautiful and came completely from your soul. You let it loose, gave it free rein and the resulting creation was amazing. You revealed pieces of your soul and what a bright, shiny soul it is!

    As you mentioned, it is about love and life and sex, but for me, what resonated the most was about me trusting in my creative abilities – flying, leaping, closing my eyes, daring, letting go even when I don’t know the outcome, even when I don’t have a plan, trusting that it will be perfect in it’s imperfections.

    This post completely tickled my amygdala :^)

  12. BOBBY on October 5, 2009 at 10:41 am

    I love Peter O’Toole. Ever see the movie My Favorite Year?”…I am not an actor, I am a movie star!!”. Tooooo good! And a wonderful voice pick!

    I would also allow Sean Connery, James Earl Jones (obvious, but still great), John Houseman (because he had eaarrrrrnnned it), Sidney Poitier and Shaggy, from Scooby-Doo, for voices to be put to “Previously on Zebra Sounds..”

    So, I suppose a spin-off company from Starting At 3rd is now in order. The DPDG Life Process Seminar Series.

    The 29 disc set will obviously be available thru a limited time offer of just 3 easy payments and narrated by any of the celebrity voices previously listed. Also included will be a handy wallet size note card featuring the DPDG process list for easy reference. And, while supplies last, a beautiful, limited release, computer signed, lithograph poster taken from the founders original cardboard masterpiece (an initial run of ONLY 6 million to be released). But wait, there’s more…. (best line from any infomercial and you know its coming every time!)

    Fun post. I mean, really, how can you ever go wrong talking about kissing?? Heck, how can you ever go wrong kissing!!

  13. cmw on October 5, 2009 at 10:42 am

    oh, I forgot. TPM, even I needed a cold shower. (It didn’t help)

  14. karen from mentor on October 5, 2009 at 11:02 am

    Hey CMW….am assuming TPM is taken….ask him if he has a brother….
    G A W D


  15. tall pajama man on October 5, 2009 at 11:05 am

    CMW, haha, that’s great! :-). Methinks you & Red may need to practice (hee hee)

  16. BOBBY on October 5, 2009 at 11:11 am

    quick addition:

    I really don’t care about homemade beauty products. I hear “sweet almond” or “avocado” and all I want is an early lunch. But the person that mentioned those sounded truly excited, “passionate” in her ideas and her process. I love that! So much so I may have to go and try a Margarita Facial Mask (Oh gosh, how cool would it be if she actually had one of those?!)

    My point is, while it was probably meant/ inferred in each of your items on the DPDG list, I always think “Passion” should be included! Whether in a kiss or in what you do in your day!

    ok, end of my little addition.

  17. judy on October 5, 2009 at 11:36 am

    Christie, letting go. That’s the trick. Me too.

    Bobby, Yes! Another enterprise! And yes, passion, definitely. Why bother without that? In fact, a lack of passion… THAT’s where you can go wrong in a kiss. 😉

    I need to watch My Favorite Year again…

  18. Tim on October 5, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    You must be amazing on Valentine’s day. Do you draw pictures like this for your sons? I’ll bet you’d embarrass them but that they’d love it like crazy. It makes me want to go back to kindergarten and draw… but if I drew pictures like this I might get sent to the special room with Bobby :-).

  19. judy on October 5, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Tim, Is the special room for little geniuses?

    I actually used to draw pictures for them all the time. Like for their birthdays. Not mind maps, though. That could be fun and cool. Thanks for the idea.

    Oh and of course I’m amazing on Valentine’s Day! 😉

  20. terrepruitt on October 5, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    Sigh (contentedly). I love your beckoning the lovely.

    Thank you.

  21. jb on October 5, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    i love your wabi-sabi, perfectly imperfect, soul map description of making out. (soul map, as christie pointed out, is much more accurate than mind map in this case.)

    i can see the flow and ease and lack of inhibition in your drawing. someday, i will get there – once i get over the fear of breaking a crayon and coloring outside the lines. ;-D

    until then… thank you, as always, for the wonderful inspiration.

    tpm: whew! tomorrow when the governor reports that the drought is suddenly worse, we know who to blame. i think we all took cold showers after your poetic reply! 😀

  22. judy on October 5, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    Terre, Aww, thank you! Me too!

    jb, I love this: “wabi-sabi, perfectly imperfect, soul map description of making out.” You should write book blurbs. Someday I hope to have a bunch for you. In the meantime, I will happily help you feel comfortable with that whole outside the lines thing! What do you say?

  23. BOBBY on October 5, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    BOBBY: “welcome to the Special Room, Tim. Hey everybody…all you guys…come on over here and say hello to Tim!!”

    Tim: “you are the only guy in here?!”

    BOBBY: “so, did you get tossed in here due to a drawing or because you tried to explain to that tall guy with glasses that his software development program was out waaay of whack??”

    Tim: “I think it was the picture. I got all inspired by that red haired girl, you know the one?! But now that you mention it, I did shoot down the Vice Principals software ideas just before that!

    BOBBY: “no worries, you can draw all you want in this room. Colored markers aren’t allowed anymore, since they discovered that a few of those other guys in here were eating them all, but I have a couple of sporks that work just great!”

    —– Ahhhh, memories. I loved Kindergarten!!

  24. judy on October 5, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    Bobby, I love to watch you play! (Bet you were really fun for your kindergarten teacher.)

  25. Editor on October 6, 2009 at 12:23 am

    This is an excellent example of using a visual ‘tool’ to develop creative writing. I am really inspired, thank you.

  26. jb on October 6, 2009 at 8:22 am

    judy – i would be honored to write your book blurbs! i’m sharpening my crayons and making business cards with my new “book blurb creator” title in anticipation.

    oh yes! please lead me to the land of comfort-outside-the-lines; i will happily follow you there anytime! 🙂

  27. judy on October 7, 2009 at 8:09 am

    Editor, Thank you!

    jb, Yay! Playdate!

  28. link human on August 30, 2010 at 11:00 am

    like it

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