So, a funny thing happened to me on my way to recreating this website. I went through a lot of old stuff - old doodles from when I first started to draw, older writing, blog posts all the way back to my Year of Fearless Love. Some of it - especially my earliest doodles - made me cringe. They're really embarrassing. (I can only hope I find today's art just as embarrassing four years from now.) 🙂
I considered deleting a lot of those images, but I decided, for now, to leave them. Yes, they're a reminder of how far I've come, but that's not the only reason I'm leaving them up. They're also a reminder not to take myself (or my work) too seriously. Back then, long before anyone had ever paid me to draw, I didn't worry so much about my art being good enough. I didn't even think of it as art (and I'm reasonably sure no one else did either). I was playing, sharing, reaching out, and my amazing, generous, big-hearted online community was playing right along with me. We had doodle parties; we celebrated obscure words; we bonded over my mom's broken hip, my love of dogs, and our collective list of the things we'd rescue from a fire.
Seeing all of that again reminded me that life is short and wildly unpredictable. Back then, wielding stick figures and fearlessly baring my heart, I could never have imagined where I'd be today, and the reality is that I can't possibly know where I'll be five years from now. No amount of planning or worrying changes that, and maybe that's a good thing. A freeing thing. Because, in the face of such uncertainty, it seems the most logical course of action is to fill my NOW with the activities and people that make me feel happy and grounded, loved and fulfilled, and stop fretting about all the stuff that isn't certain - which, of course, is everything outside of this very moment. The one I'm in. The only one that's real.
The one I can still grab hold of and dance with before it slips away.
Thank you for all the times you've danced with me.
I've got two upcoming events I'd like to invite you to attend!
- On January 30th, join me for lunch with the Happy Healthy Women Network in San Jose. I'll be talking about my Year of Fearless Love – how it changed me, and ultimately led to the publication of my illustrated creative journal, Find Your Awesome, a book that's all about self-love, creativity and play. We'll discuss why self-love is the most important (and sometimes the hardest) love of all.
- Then on February 8th, we're having a Valentine's Day Mandala-Making Tea Party at the Craft Maker's Studio in Pleasanton! Join me and other creatives and learn how to make a Valentine's Day themed Mandala so you can create your own cards, or pieces of art for your family and friends. We'll be serving tea in fancy teacups and yummy treats. Materials will be provided.